Life's intermissions.

The universe presents many twists and turns in our daily lives. Just now at around 11pm, I got a call from a good friend which went something like this;

 

Me: Heyo!

Friend: Yo Jianzzz...

Me: Wazzup!

Friend: You free now? Can I come over?

Me: Of course, why?

Friend: No la, just thought if I can come over and sleep for a night, tomorrow have to work also.

(sensing something was wrong, probably a quarrel with the girlfriend, me probe no further.)

Me: Yup yup, I'll see you in awhile.

 

After 15 mins or so, he was here. During that time, I was busy tidying up my bed to a more presentable state, and even made hot tea for the both of us (am I a good host or what!), as I presume we'll be having an intense smoking and chatting session at the balcony.

 

And talk and smoke we did. He was smoking like a chimney, stick after stick, which I follow suit (bad). Basically, he and the girlfriend have been having a series of little disagreements over the past weeks. Over the weekend, she kept bugging him over "why do you smoke?", for which he has no definitive answer. He does not smoke on a regular basis, only when he's in the company of certain friends (me), and he sees it as an outlet, an escape, a form of communication between close friends. Perhaps it's a clash of opinions, she is unwilling to accept it even though he has already curbed the habit most of the time.

 

The whole issue boiled over when they were playing badminton earlier, when they were pairing up to play against two other persons. His competitive side took over when he saw that she wasn't putting her full efforts into playing, started giving her some pointers here and there, which she didn't take very constructively. A mini exchange of heated words ensued, resulting in a bit of tension in the air. They went home, and while she was bathing, he sneaked out and came over. Those were not the main reasons that resulted in this fracas, they are not that petty.

 

What I feel about their relationship is that both of them are trying too hard to make each other happy, to the point where he/she is not happy. It is a very subtle give and take situation, whereby your expectations and actions for the other party, for his or her highest good, can be it's own undoing. There is a lack of open and appropriate communication, which causes the little things that irk you to bottle up inside. My friend also has the habit of thinking too much. When a situation arises, he has the tendency to think of the good and bad side, and everything in between. What if? What could have been? What should have been? What not? But he forgets that he's living in the present. I feel that in a relationship, we always have to remind each other that we are living in the 'now', it is what we feel now that matters most. Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday, this is an old adage about our worries and anxieties.

 

So, my one advice to him is to live free, to deal with the hiccups and intermissions in life as they come along. Keep an open communication in a woe-free relationship, and everything will blossom in due time. My heartfelt blessings to the both of them. 

 

Everything happens for a good reason. Now that my bed is taken, I will have to work on my assignment thru the night. The one distraction that may detract me from doing my report diligently has been taken away. Oh, how mysterious the universe works!