Eggshell.

Crack.

 

The world that we live in is saturated by fear. What is Fear? A wise man once told me, Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. It is this false evidence that makes us mindful or afraid of accomplishing tasks, and stopping us from being the person we want to be. For many of us, our daily thought process are filled with 'I can't do it', 'I shouldn't do it', 'I won't' and 'I don't'. As a result, we think about what we don't want instead of what we want.

 

My growing years is akin to someone who is living in an eggshell. Not that I have been pampered or anything, but I feel that I have always been taken care of. I don't come from a rich family, but there was always food on the table, pocket money when I go to school and a family to go home to. All I had to do was to go to school, play with my classmates, go for tuition, and laze around when there was free time.

 

After primary school, I did well enough to get into a fairly prestigious secondary school. There, everyone was like me, there were little worries in our little lives other than to study and pass exams. I was living a sheltered and carefree life then. Many of my friends were from fairly well-off families, some whom have never taken public transport all their lives, with chauffeurs bringing them everywhere they want. At the same time, I was not ignorant to the harsh realities that exists in the world. Not bringing the world into context here, even in Singapore, there is just too much poverty and sadness around.

 

There are families worrying over when their next meal is going to be, whether their children will be able to go to school, and working long hours at the expense of their bodies. My time in the army changed a lot of my life perceptions, and allowed me to see outside my eggshell. In the army, everyone was equal. With respects here, it doesn't matter whether your dad's a billionaire, or your parents are separated, we are all equal in the system.

 

A sense of brotherhood was formed. We were all in this together. The bond that ties us all, sharing the joys together, enduring the pain together, permeates through every prejudice that we previously hold. The lousy food suddenly tastes better when eating with my bunkmates. Free time becomes bonding sessions late into the night. Smoking breaks become superior bashing sessions, the complaints and grievances never stop. Throughout all these, there is a sense of looking after one another, watching each others' backs, asking for nothing in return other than doing the same back.    

 

Despite all these, it doesn't hide the fact that our lives outside the camp are different. Everyone has their own set of problems. The army showed me the other side of life, where life is not always perfect. Some have hardship thrown at them from a very young age, some have family or financial issues, some have multiple relationship issues, and some who are just weird. =) 

 

Sometimes I wonder if I have broken out of the eggshell, or am I looking at the outside world from the comforts of my own shell. Is it fear? Why the apprehension then? I believe the walls of my shell are beginning to crack, soon I will burst out of that shell, to embrace and acknowledge what the universe holds for me. I shall end with a phrase that struck me when I was watching a video on the Himalayas during a tutorial last week. In the video, the Dalai Lama said this "Human compassion removes human negative emotions.". 

 

How very true indeed.